old age & toilets

so first i gotta start with the fact that i've been 21 for about... 7 months now?? goodness.. i havent felt so old until just this past week. ever since last thursday i've been going out EVERYDAY! i'm honestly exhausted. its to tiring.. damn my friends and their birthdays.. haha jokes.. it's all good. its fun to see them all.. and finally have one big bash outing before i start school next monday. who goes out and gambles.. goes to the bars.. tries to play bingo all before 7PM!!! gahh. haha oh daffodil.. that girl.. makes me laugh hard times.. but its always fun :]

on another note!!!

idk who reads this.. but my damn iphone fell into the toilet tonight at *GROOVE. :[ whackk shit. that damn thing is like my life.. now i am phoneless.. well kinda.. i have an old razor phone that my mom use to have.. thats my current form of communication. gahhh.. its nothing like my iphone tho!! gahhh!! makes me sad.. whatever tho.. what can i do?? you want to buy me a new iphone?! PLEASE?! or atleast add to a fund for me to get a new one? :] i mean.. christmas is coming up soon and all!! :] muhaha well now i have no numbers or anything.. so maybe just text me with your name so i can add it to my phone book :] gahh.. so sadd.. and now im feelin' ill. idk if its allergies or forreal sickness. wtf! im tired.. first night not going out! damn. well.. tomorrow is a new day. hah im out for now. 

club. concert. coma.

let's catch up on my past week/weekend. 

hmm.. wednesday i went to the boys' basketball game. they should already know to expect me there :] hah. i love them boys. im always there that the Y staff seem to know who i am already. all good tho. thursday afternoon wasn't much. i chilled at home all day. then went to daffi's house so we could go to palazzo and get ready for miss daffodil gamayon to FINALLY hit the clubs! so we got ready and headed to tryst. all i gotta say about thursday night at the club is CRAZY MAD FUN. haha if you weren't there then DAMN you missed out! sorry. friday i met up daff and her family for family din din :] fun times. then we headed back to palazzo for a quick gambling lesson and then time to get ready again! we went to lavo which was pretty WHACK! sorry.. its not crackin.  so we stayed for like maybe two hours then back to the room. chilled drank up. hella heads. daffi's brother and his friends made HELLA mess!! then futchin' dipped out. being the anal person i am.. the mom side came out and i started to CLEAN! i did well too! haha kim was shocked. i took a quick nap {because i slept at 7am and woke up at like 10?!} then it was wakey time. so saturday morning we packed our stuff then ate at mainland and goodness it was YUMMY! then i went home chilled with mom and brother for a while then got ready and headed to HOM! goodness.. its been a while since i've been there to tell you the truth.. and boy do i miss it. picked up emi and we went to sonic to grab some food. num yummy. after a quick bite we drove across the street to palms and watched the JASON MRAZ concert!!! yessss! it was great. opening act was lisa.... i forgot her last name but she's from ireland. dublin i think?? idk.. her cd is coming out soon hopefully.. her song "i dont know" is GREAT!!! then jason himself.. gahhhhh just much much fun. glad i could experience it with EmiChan. afterwards i took emi home and then i drove to jem's for daffi's surprise party. which i was late to.. SORRY!! but i just wanted to say hi and show face! :] now im home and exhausted.. ready to sleep for days.. but i cant because i have things to do tomorrow. 

hopefully i can fall asleep soon.. i can never seem to sleep when i get home :/

weekEND

so.. this weekend has been.. uh.. fun? hah friday went to tao. JDJDL was there :] then saw a few people from high school. thats always fun. i miss them. hmm.. after leaving the club there was a drunk girl who was trying to get into my car.. then there was a drunk driver on the freeway (and it wasn't me!) then i went to joe&dayna's and ate mcdonalds then chilled til freakin 5 in the morning! haha love them!

saturday i chilled at home and relaxed until i had to go to the studio for the SGBM workshop. fun stuff. afterwards we chilled in the parking lot like usual and decided where to go. so daffi and i changed clothes at her house.. hahah gahhhh so many laughs in that short period of time. then we went to shuseki?? haha or if you're jay its SHOE SUCKY! haha :] good stuff. we all got ripped off together!! all because of those damn chopsticks yo! so we went outside and chilled AGAIN!! haha let KJ get more room in his tummy for that cream slush from SONIC! haha then off to lexi's place. we played cranium.. daffi erika and i demolished. well atleast in the green category since thats the only color that wanted to show up when we rolled hahah we never finished the game because well.. we started talking about jenny's dog, cali. :(  it makes me sad and upset. 

sunday joe&dayna picked me up and we went to the football game! :] yey we won. saw kanai but no ka'iulani :[ no babygirl!! oh well it was wayy too cold anyway. hm.. after the game i got dropped off at home and then met up Lo at townsquare to watch ROLE MODELS haha it was funny "guess what i did last night" oh man.. fun stuff then we went to raising canes like old times. its good stuff. one year son! then i headed back home and then went to jing's house and played cranium and uno!! haha i win!! :] finally i went back home and talked on the phone as i sat on the roof then SLEPT :]

monday i stayed home.. chilled and then finally i got a call that i didnt expect. i saw a face pop up on my phone that brought a smile to my face!! STEVEN JAY DE JESUS!! :] thanks bf!! i love you!! time to eat dinner with the family. byee!

IRK me off

so im sitting at home laying in bed and waiting. waiting until i have to get ready to go to TAO with some friends. i may be ranting and upset but hey.. if the person im writing about has the "time" to read this then ill speak to them about it. its not that big of a deal or else i would trouble them with this piece of mind but if they really care then ill talk to them.

so.. i invited a few people to come out to TAO tonight.. just to go because its free.. my friends birthday.. a friend of mine said that they would be joining us out. so i added them on the list to get in. earlier today the contacted me and said that they wouldn't be coming out tonight because someone else was in town. the person in town isnt the BEST person that they should be hanging out with.. just because i know how they will end up feeling by the end of the night. anyway.. i talked to my friend and by the end of the conversation they decided that they would still be coming out with me tonight. before i hung up the phone i asked "let me know if you're really coming out because i already put you on the list. if you're not coming out then just let me know." they confirmed again that they would be coming. time passed by and they hit me up again saying how they didnt have their ID. okay.. well let's go get it. idk.. i just then asked for confirmation on weather or not my friend would be coming out and again they confirmed. 

i went home and relaxed. actually took a nap and just chilled. then i tried to get a hold of my friend and they just did not answer.. idk why.. whatever.. i already assumed what the outcome was going to be. finally they called me and the news was that they would not be joining me because they were going to spend time with a sibling. instead of starting an argument because i already feel as if that was a lie to me. i just stopped the conversation.. said good bye and hung up the phone. i was very irritated and well.. thats why i just decided to blog about it. 

GAHH!! wtf! okay. im done. bye.

blah de dah

so first and foremost.. this is just a WARNING.. this blog entry will have no real reason.. nothing of REAL interest.. so there is no reason for ANYONE to read this unless you are super bored and have nothing at all to do.  :]

so these past few days i've been doing a lot of the finishing touches so that i can start school at APOLLO college in december. tuesday i took my drug test & did my background check. wednesday i went to school and dropped them off. and today i went to the mall with LOLO and bought my shoes! hah yuckkk! i had to get all white shoes for school. so not cute. i can already imagine them dirty as heck. so to make myself feel better i bought those and new all black vans! :] yey. hahah sadly that did cheer me up. Lo said i could wear 'em out the store.. so i did! haha ughhh son! then we walked around.. went to spencer's and as i was looking at body jewelry i asked Lo to come look at something and he STEPS on my shoes! haha "good thing it wasn't the white ones!" :] thanks Lolo. then i bought new plugs and we visited Emmanuel. after that we split.. and later i was with Jing.. we go to the gas station.. and this girl almost gets hit by a car! goodness.. haha i love her so.. she's funny.. but needs to learn how to be more careful. 

on a NEW note.. i'm going to share my agenda with y'all for the next few days..

FRIDAY 11.07.08

TAO nightclub at 10 pm for Stephanie Tesoro's Birthday :]

SATURDAY 11.08.08

SGBM workshop with Vinh Nguyen and KJ Gonzales for *GROOVE at studio 702. Registration starts at 5pm class starts at 5:30 with Vinh and 7:15 with KJ. $12 for one class and $20 for both!! come out and take class! :]

SUNDAY 11.09.08

brother joe's football game & movie/foodage with FAVE :] plus its uncle mike's birthday!

MONDAY 11.10.08

family day. no REAL plans yet.

TUESDAY 11.11.08

mom's birthday. chLee's birthday. dinner at brother's house to celebrate for mom. :]

WEDNESDAY 11.12.08

STILL mom's birthday. haha whyy she has two?! idk

THURSDAY 11.13.08

TRYST @ midnight for daffi's birthday

FRIDAY 11.14.08

DAFFI'S 21st and DONNA'S 20th birthdays. Shaboobs comes to Vegas. LAX??

SATURDAY 11.15.08

Dinner with EmiChan (mom) and then JASON MRAZ concert. followed by a cocktail party.

SUNDAY 11.16.08

football game with JDJDL :] then the night BODY ENGLISH!

weeehoo son! im going to be busy but im ready for it. i already know that im going to have to wake up early everyday so that i can still watch the wood men that are going to be coming to the house and make loud noise everyday early in the morning!! grr. all good tho. im ready haha. love my life :]

told you it would be boring. :]

CHANGE IS GOOD.

it was time for change. finally. PRObama is president :] thats all i will state on that. im happy.. proud that many went out and voted.. regardless of whom you voted for.. thanks for just going out and voting.

now.. i just wanted to do a little "hello" to a select few.. no names.. im pretty sure that they'll know that its for them.. any questions just ask.. 

1. we've never been so close. in the past we had our disputes or disagreements and put a break in the friendship due to a BOY. but thats the past and its way behind us. i love the fact that we can go do the spontaneous things on the spare of the moment and you're always so down. from dinner to california and soon.. it'll be on a cruise :] just no more cookies! they do crazy things. im proud of what you're doing in life. you're making decisions for the better.. cant wait just two more years! :]

2. you owe me a dance. i love the laughs and knowing that i can come talk to you about anything. you always have the words of wisdom that i need to hear. when i feel down you bring me up.. have me laughing so hard that i start to cry. MSL son! haha as long as you learned im happy and no worries.. ill take care of the numbers for you.

3. you're the fave. not on this level but on a whole 'nother. not much time spent together but you still get me. we have conversations or see different sides of things and we know that we'll never get anywhere with it.. so we recognize what the others talking about.. and drop it. 

4. you are always so random. its okay.. you're PROmoted. you never seem to be able to lie to me and i love it. i always catch you.. its okay.. maybe one day you'll get one by me. you're so loud that sometimes you make me feel quiet. theres so much for you to learn about being legal.. yet you're the older one! haha oh well. ill be here to help you promise.

5. you're on the PROteam. you probably secretly admire "man magnet" haha always making me laugh. we have them god talks and dont eat at lunch. no need to worry about the dumb illiterate one that cant spell correctly without their new phone. you can BLOG OUT all you want jerk! haha 

just be happy with the people that you surround yourself around. if you're not happy then they're probably the wrong crowd. 

guy's game

so.. im sure i spoke to many about my gas station man. haha if you know anything about him.. then idk when the last time was that i spoke to you about it.. but gahhh!!

so.. this guy.. who we (my friends and i) refer to as gas station man.. approached me at the cheveron near my house.. just wanted to say hi.. asked my name.. i always feel bad when people ask for another's number and get rejected.. so i gave him mine.. idk.. i figure that if i really dont want to talk to the person i could simply not answer.. right?! which is what i do.. trust i dont really have an interest in SPEAKING with him.. i receive all these voice mails regarding what he's been up to.. him asking when we're going to "get to know one another" and when he can take me out. i dont call back.. idk.. its probably mean of me.. but get this.. i just find it awkward!

he texts me every so often.. its no big deal. but at the same time the things he texts me on the random are pretty weird especially since i've only seen him once and that was at the gas station.. and i never talk to him on the phone. the most awkward things that he had sent me are: "wish you was in my care. be mine" "i want you" "luv you" wtf?! get outta here with that shit! get to know me before you TRY and say anything like that to me. wtf. gahh. idk. i guess i just get irritated with that shit because its totally out of my character.

i like to be on my own.. not in a relationship. no one to answer to. no one to be on my ass trippin out on what i do. im really happy and content in what im doing in life thanks! i have the best of friends.. the most caring family.. and finally getting on track with my education and future career. things are good. i dont NEED anyone. especially a male in my life. i have my guys. my male friends that are by my side looking for my best interest. if i was interested then someone would know. things are good.

the whole "game" that some guys try and play off aren't my thing. i recently got into a conversation with a friend of mine about the games they play. why do so many females fall for the same game?? then once they give in and get screwed over they bitch and complain about the fact that they aren't happy. GIRLS!! get independent. dont think you need a BOY who plays games.. find yourself a man who is taking care of his own life and is willing to take care of your own. best yet.. dont go searching.. just learn to be content and make yourself happy in life.. then when the time is right the MAN will find you. its not such a crucial thing in life to have that guy.

a girl friend of mine recently told me that she wished that she was like me.. "FREE" haha she's a funny one.. recently ended her relationship with a boy. but not for the wrong reasons.. actually i respect the both of them for their decision. they decided that they needed to get their own lifes in order and fix their priorities before they continue to try and work things out between the two of them. hey if you care about another person so much that you're willing to take a break from them so that they can organize their life.. mad props to you.

i just gotta say.. take care of yourself first! you're the only person that can make you the happiest. once you're taken care of.. then you can start to worry about others. if you cant even to begin to get your life in order then you have no right to try and worry about the other people around you. you have no right to say what they should be doing in life.. you have all these words of wisdom.. why dont you take your own words into action. do something with your life. dont just sit there and complain about how it sucks.. or how you need to change things.. and then you take no actions to complete your future. hey if your future consists of sitting on your ass and having other people take care of you and not work for anything.. or have shit handed to you by all means thats fine.. you're just not the kind of person i want to surround myself around because that is by no means what i plan to do. i know that i've been well taken care of by "mommy and daddy" for the past 21 years of my life.. but so what?! im privileged. hate if you want.. sorry! haha i honestly dont care. at least i can say that im doing something with my life now. dont say i never worked for anything in life. because NO ONE knows 100% of what i've been through except for me. i've never let a person into my life completely. yes.. i've given many the benefit of the doubt and accepted them into my world and trust me.. if you've been blessed enough to expirence how it is to be in my world.. my parents have taken care of you too. but ive also been screwed over by many. hey thats life. accept it. there you will never get along 100% with anyone. and you will never know someone else's life completely unless you're them. its ok to say "i understand where you're coming from" but you never REALLY know what they mean.

haha so this is a buncha random shit. complied into one blog vomit. enjoy.

time to go play with the babies :] then JDJ time.. then some cousin/sisin/boysonchild time :] i still love my life. but i just get irritated witht he few folks that think they have the right to tell me what to do with myself. hah get outta hear. my life is great.

pee in a cup

so.. dont ask me why i started a blog.. i guess its just another random thing for me to do to consume time or help me PROCRASTINATE on the necessary hah. for the past week its been nothing but waking up early.. getting wood floors in.. packing.. moving.. school visits.. family issues.. whatever. today i had to go to consolidated lab services and pee in a cup! haha yepp drug test son! damn things were AWKWARD. every other time i pee'd in a cup.. haha its only for random things like drug tests and pregnancy tests for doctors and junkk.. but it was like.. you walk in.. pee.. then you're good riight?? well apparently not at this place.. you walk in.. empty your pockets.. then the guy walked me to the back.. had me pick a cup, brought me into the bathroom and said when i was finished to not flush the toilet. ughhh that bothered me but whatever.. so i peed.. and i made it all in the cup!! ughhh son! haha sorry i was always scared that i'd pee on my hand. ANYWAYS.. when i was done i went to wash my hands.. but there was no soap.. worst yet.. there were no knobs on the sink!! i open the door and the guy was standing there.. and he walked into the bathroom and brought in the soap and the knob! ahah wtf!! they steal that ishhh??? i guess yo. but yeaaaaa... so i went there and finally washed my hands.. the guy examined my urine and then flushed my toilet. haha sorry i just find that funny. hm.. then yeaa he talked to me about filling out papers then let me be on my way. i swear the folks who work there seem so miserable.. but then again.. if i just dealed with urine for 8 hours a day.. i guess i wouldnt be all that excited about my job either. the best part of being there was seeing a sign on the bathroom wall that said "BOWEL MOVEMENT ARE NOT PERMITTED DURING URING SAMPLES" hahah oh man.. then there was a picture that had a guy sitting on the toilet and he was reading a news paper and it was crossed out. haha idk.. just funny to me.

now i came to school CSN charleston campus.. i was suppose to do my background check online.. but instead i came on the computer and created this ishh.. oh well.. theres just always too much to do. i have a few different people that want to meet up today.. idk how im going to meet with all.. but ill try my best.

i can't wait.. after i go through all this ishh for APOLLO COLLEGE.. i will finally start in december!! ughh.. whats good son?? finally doing something with my life.. in two years im done! :]

i need to get more sleep in life.. theres just always something to do. but ill survive. pulling through with the encouragment of my loved ones. seeing their faces make me smile.

i miss JAY!
mr. de jesus. i hope you're doing well there in Oaklahoma. stop being home sick we're not that great and we dont miss you! haha jokes!! just seeing your smile.. spread smiles amoungst the whole group. we're proud of what you're doing. we know you'll be back home in april. in time for my birthday maybe??? dont forget my phone is ALWAYS on.. no really.. it is always on.. and no matter what.. ill answer it. im just happy to get your texts. they make me smile. be strong. "LEAD THE WAY SOLDIER":] can't believe how many people you touched. this whole vegas valley has a special place for you in their hearts. you know damn well you've done something great to have touched so many people in a special way. you had your own damn weekend son! you might not have you're own day recognized by las vegas officials.. but to the REAL homies.. you've got it. every day is your day jay. spread the smiles out there in Oaklahoma. show them how vegas folks are. i love you BF!

time to get my ishh done now.. no more laggin'.. well maybe later..

hii husby! i miss you. dont forget you owe me since you knock'd out the other day. haha