guy's game

so.. im sure i spoke to many about my gas station man. haha if you know anything about him.. then idk when the last time was that i spoke to you about it.. but gahhh!!

so.. this guy.. who we (my friends and i) refer to as gas station man.. approached me at the cheveron near my house.. just wanted to say hi.. asked my name.. i always feel bad when people ask for another's number and get rejected.. so i gave him mine.. idk.. i figure that if i really dont want to talk to the person i could simply not answer.. right?! which is what i do.. trust i dont really have an interest in SPEAKING with him.. i receive all these voice mails regarding what he's been up to.. him asking when we're going to "get to know one another" and when he can take me out. i dont call back.. idk.. its probably mean of me.. but get this.. i just find it awkward!

he texts me every so often.. its no big deal. but at the same time the things he texts me on the random are pretty weird especially since i've only seen him once and that was at the gas station.. and i never talk to him on the phone. the most awkward things that he had sent me are: "wish you was in my care. be mine" "i want you" "luv you" wtf?! get outta here with that shit! get to know me before you TRY and say anything like that to me. wtf. gahh. idk. i guess i just get irritated with that shit because its totally out of my character.

i like to be on my own.. not in a relationship. no one to answer to. no one to be on my ass trippin out on what i do. im really happy and content in what im doing in life thanks! i have the best of friends.. the most caring family.. and finally getting on track with my education and future career. things are good. i dont NEED anyone. especially a male in my life. i have my guys. my male friends that are by my side looking for my best interest. if i was interested then someone would know. things are good.

the whole "game" that some guys try and play off aren't my thing. i recently got into a conversation with a friend of mine about the games they play. why do so many females fall for the same game?? then once they give in and get screwed over they bitch and complain about the fact that they aren't happy. GIRLS!! get independent. dont think you need a BOY who plays games.. find yourself a man who is taking care of his own life and is willing to take care of your own. best yet.. dont go searching.. just learn to be content and make yourself happy in life.. then when the time is right the MAN will find you. its not such a crucial thing in life to have that guy.

a girl friend of mine recently told me that she wished that she was like me.. "FREE" haha she's a funny one.. recently ended her relationship with a boy. but not for the wrong reasons.. actually i respect the both of them for their decision. they decided that they needed to get their own lifes in order and fix their priorities before they continue to try and work things out between the two of them. hey if you care about another person so much that you're willing to take a break from them so that they can organize their life.. mad props to you.

i just gotta say.. take care of yourself first! you're the only person that can make you the happiest. once you're taken care of.. then you can start to worry about others. if you cant even to begin to get your life in order then you have no right to try and worry about the other people around you. you have no right to say what they should be doing in life.. you have all these words of wisdom.. why dont you take your own words into action. do something with your life. dont just sit there and complain about how it sucks.. or how you need to change things.. and then you take no actions to complete your future. hey if your future consists of sitting on your ass and having other people take care of you and not work for anything.. or have shit handed to you by all means thats fine.. you're just not the kind of person i want to surround myself around because that is by no means what i plan to do. i know that i've been well taken care of by "mommy and daddy" for the past 21 years of my life.. but so what?! im privileged. hate if you want.. sorry! haha i honestly dont care. at least i can say that im doing something with my life now. dont say i never worked for anything in life. because NO ONE knows 100% of what i've been through except for me. i've never let a person into my life completely. yes.. i've given many the benefit of the doubt and accepted them into my world and trust me.. if you've been blessed enough to expirence how it is to be in my world.. my parents have taken care of you too. but ive also been screwed over by many. hey thats life. accept it. there you will never get along 100% with anyone. and you will never know someone else's life completely unless you're them. its ok to say "i understand where you're coming from" but you never REALLY know what they mean.

haha so this is a buncha random shit. complied into one blog vomit. enjoy.

time to go play with the babies :] then JDJ time.. then some cousin/sisin/boysonchild time :] i still love my life. but i just get irritated witht he few folks that think they have the right to tell me what to do with myself. hah get outta hear. my life is great.