sorrow. friends. life.

wow.. so it seems like i have a close girl of mine is some deep anguish. i dont like that she's in a hurt state.. of course i would love to baby her and be here for her to vent to.. which trust me i did. BUT i know that there is no point to baby her.. to cater to her every waking moment.. to try and distract her. by her telling me the situation and her reaction to is proved to me that she really is growing up. she's grown and becoming stronger. this is something that she has to deal with on her own. as much as she has friends here by her side, none of us will FULLY understand her situation because we are not her. no matter how close of a situation any of us have been through, no matter how similar they are, it STILL is not the exact situation. every relationship, no matter if you're OFFICIAL or NOT, is different. there are different things that go on between two people that can not be fully comprehended by an outsider. just know.. i'm here for you but i know you do not need me or anyone else. you are here making some great decisions in your life. yes you have been sluffin' on a few past goals.. and i know i give you ishh all the time about it, but to have seen how passionate you were once about it, makes me believe that all you need is that little push. just a small nudge. so that you know someone is behind you and believes in your action. that's all i needed to help get my butt in gear and here i am now.. almost half way done! how crazy is that?! well.. just know im here.. to listen to your stories.. to agree and disagree with you.. to read your bLogs.. to share my opinion. but i know you are one bad ass female that is more than capable at handling your own feelings so there is no need for me to fish such information out of you, or to try and console you. know i understand. know im interested in your well being. know that I LOVE YOU and thats a real one.

on another note..

today has been day two of the third semester. i have to say im so overwhelmed. yesterday we had to bring all 14 books to class.. received so much information.. learned when we had an additive amount of classes.. figured out our schedules.. compiled our mountains of hw and reading assignments. goodness.. too much. but its ok. im going to keep my head on straight and have come to the decision that i really am no longer going out on weekdays. i need to stay focused and keep studying. i need to catch up on sleep but with the amount of work i've been doing, thats pretty difficult. luckily i still have someone along my side that will allow me to vent and complain about the school load.. who then sympathizes with me and says i can do it. i have someone that will know im having a bad day and will text me asking if they can call me. and when they do, they say.. "you're not having a great day are you?" when i reply no, they say.. "i know, thats why i wanted to call and tell you this.." then they continue into a singing a song.. even though they do not enjoy singing.. or believe that they are the best at it.. simply because they knew it would put a smile upon my face, they do it anyway. i have someone that i do not necessarily talk to everyday.. nor that often.. but will randomly say hello, check up on how i have been doing, text me to simply say goodnight.. knowing that it makes me feel good. i have a house full of people around my age that give me a load of respect for going out and doing whatever it is i do. because they know that even though i may be super busy, or occupied.. it means nothing with the fact that we are all close and will stay that way. they give me so much support. i have a brother that understands how much stress i receive from school and family situations that he sets me an appointment for a massage.. fully paid for.. including gratuity. only because he felt as if it would help me relax. its people like that.. they help me see that my life is simply perfect. has a few quirks, of coarse.. but even those help make it perfect.

i must admit. i see myself being super blessed. i have people that care about me close.. and far.. yet never do they fail to cease to amaze me with the smallest possible things. not judging one for the way they choose to live their life. if you want to do something go out and do it. "if you think you can.. or if you think you can't.. you're right." you really are. i do not judge those that i carry close to my heart. i simply look our for what i believe is best for them. and if they choose another path, so be it. as long as you are happy then i too shall feel the joy for you.