black bed sheets.

its damn 6 in the morning..

i have a wedding to go to today! eeep! brother is finally getting married. wow.. my brother. my only sibling.. idk.. its kinda weird. something im going to get use to quickly.. my brother and his wife. my sister-in-law. creepy. haha but im happy for him. its a joyous day.

why am i awake?! man.. i was so exhausted.. its been one of those days.. really it HAS! but i pushed through lab clinicals at school with only 2ish hours of broken sleep.. then went to the rehearsal wedding and dinner. drove downtown.. visited boobs and booger. drove back to the hotel.. relaxed with the guys.. talked about things with my brother.. looked back on our past. getting ready for the future. then went home. knocked around 3 ish.. and got a call at 4.30ish and woke up.. been awake since.

hmmm.. idk.. three weeks in a row. you're funny. (just a random sideline thought that no one will understand but myself.. sorry)

okay.. the proceeding content may not make sense so you as a reader may as well stop reading now.. however.. i'm going to type it for myself.. i mean i made this as a place for me to jot down my info in my head.. my feelings.. my confusion.. so i should just put something that maybe no one will understand.. maybe no one will get. it may or may not make any sense at all and thats fine. hmmm.. okay here i go.

betrayed. lied. how is it that i never ask anything from you. i only ask for truth.. i do not expect much or anything at all...yet the truth is something.. probably one of the only things i care about when it comes to us. ratio was off. beds weren't used. you said that it wouldnt happend.. yet when i arrived its what i saw with my own eyes. did i say anything? no. was it the right place to? maybe. would it have been worth it to make you upset as well? im not sure. i still haven't told you why it was i seemed upset about it. so after time passed you text me saying you wanted to see me before you left.. i thought it was nice. you end up near my house.. then rush off as im on the way.. due to trying to meet up with the others whom aren't so fond of me because my timing in speaking to you was not as they would have liked. anyway.. when i got home you asked if i was alright.. my answer was yes.. but its always that.. you knew i really wasn't. i asked if i'd see you and you were out. not at the place you said you were headed to.. change of plans.. i decide it wasn't worth it so i slept. waking to your phone call.. you told me you were outside my house.. so i came down. not noticing you had sent me three previous messages asking if i wanted you to come over.. and yet with no response you still came to show face and try your attempt at calling me. as soon as i walked outside.. greetings for the friend made me laugh.. greetings from you made me smile.. a request he made.. made me laugh and upset. not at all your fault.. instead you laughed at me. spent some time outside.. small conversation was exchanged. you gave me the shirt. thank you. it ended with hugs.. and my forehead kiss. :] the frustration with you can not last. thank you friend. you're simply adorable.. just so great. i sent you a text shortly after you left.. then received a reply with a slight delay. i just told you that i appreciated your trip to my place for the 15 minute conversation.. your patience was greatly appreciated as well. and i shared my gratitude for the shirt i acquired. your reply was.. "so crazy i pulled out my phone to say i'm glad i got to see you and i read that text. you're the best babe. goodnight. muuuahhh" you're silly. but on the real. thank you.

fackk im going back to sleep.. pillow and shirt. i opposite of hate you.