feelings.. fading.. fahhhhhhh

the sounds flow from the speakers to my ears.

the beats move your feet and body in a way that amazes many.

my eyes stare off.. watching you express a feeling from within.

the feeling i get is one that is indescribable. 

continuously replaying it in my head,

a smile appears on my face.

how is it that you can hit me up.. and with the smallest response i get happy/upset/giggly/frustrated. why do all those emotions flow through me in such a short amount of time. i do understand now. your mind is made up. your choices and decisions have been clearly set forth. when an opportunity opens, im sure you will take it.. only when necessary.. only when you feel like it. then as time passes you shall be back onto your old ways. that is fine. you know where i shall be. you know where i stand on every situation. you were a significant part once, that part has faded away. 

bad host.

hah.. suppose to do study group at my house.. what do i do? SLEEP in. damn long nights. all due to the painter. whatever tho. left the group hangin'.. they're literally down the street at starbucks studying. hah. mmkay. whatever. i should get started. bye!

i suck.

so.. after finding out that i only needed a "C" on my next test.. then finding out that my test has been split into two days.. idk.. i just started to sluff on studying for it.. this past weekend i decided that i wanted to take this for myself and just go out and have fun.. i had A LOT of people in town.. it was good to see most of them.. many many many fun times :] always puts a smile on my face. i needed this break.. on the real.. and well.. now i have to study haha im really not stressin'.. its whatever :] i just need to do good on my micro test. hah mmkay..

oh and that drama bull shit that some people that have drama btwn themselves are trynna bring into my life.. hah.. not crackin'.

if a female doesn't trust her man.. has to go all sneaky and check up on his ass.. look through all his stuff.. know all his passwords.. check his phone.. all that dumb shii.. why the hell are you with him?! please i never understood all that. 

hard work pays off

so we got an update on our grades in A&P 1 today.. and after all the hard work i've put into studying for my A&P tests.. if actually paid off.

i have one test left.. i gotta take it on tuesday.. and well.. if i get at least a 70% on it.. then i can get an overall grade of an "A" in my A&P class!! ughh son! :] good times.. now im sleepy.. goodnight :]

hmph..

i miss you. 

the talks. smiles. laughs. hugs. smokes. arguments. 

i wouldn't change anything that happened. 

i just wish those times would reoccur.

place those smiles amongst my face.

wrap your arms around me.

just lay, chill, talk.

come here please.

on another side..

i am believing something may be true that i surely wish is not the case. it was when i realized this that i started to miss you more and more. you were always a person that i would run to with such news, and then you would just comfort me in some way. then make me laugh with jokes. idk.. just randomness. lets go on walks late night.. find babies.. and random old guys named kelly. find a husband in chicago.. then a baby in the bay.. and settle in vegas. wow. imy.

productive insomnia :]

its like 5:20ish in the morning.. i have yet to sleep.. but at least im actually being somewhat productive.. im not super tired so what do i do? nope.. not turn on the tv.. not bug out on my computer.. instead i take out my anatomy book and start studying.. AGAIN.. its more like a continuation from today. i left my house around.. 12 noon today and ran some errands.. then went and studied.. then went to pick up matt from work.. and back to studying.. then to the studio for *GROOVE's three year anniversary class (which was awesome btw. thank you to everyone who came out and took class :]).. then i studied more at the studio.. after class was over.. i stayed there for MECCAMEE's  practice so that i could close the studio.. and while that was going on.. i studied even more.. then after that.. i went home.. and started studying more!! wtf. haha and guess what.. sunday afternoon.. so like in.. uh.. a few hours.. people are coming to my house to do a study group! wtf. yes. wow. my life must sound so whackk to everyone.. but there are a few out there that keep telling me to "do work" :] them.. i appreciate. they know that the amount of work im putting into my studies now will surely pay off. i cant wait. i can't believe its already been 6 months since i started school.. it seems so much less.. but that just means.. 1.5 years left.. and im done! yepp 18 months and counting. i cant wait. 

but before that.. this coming weekend!! i cant wait for that! ughhhh.. finally a well deserved break is coming! thats right.. im actually planning on going out.. having fun.. doing something! :] no books next weekend.. well.. maybe just on sunday :] haha but i really cant wait!! im super excited. yessssirrrr! :]

another day another chapter.

well.. i have to go get another chapter of A&P down.. but uh.. lets hope i can accomplish 2 chapters in a matter of.. today and tomorrow before the group comes over! :/ 

on another note.. come to *GROOVE today!! class starts at 6 and registration shall be at 5:30 pm.. hope to see you all there.. three classes are only $3! ughh thank goodness to the three year anniversary :]

mmkay.. byeee!

disappointment leads to harder work.

i did bad on my micro test yesterday. its something i dont really care to get into.. but it is just frustrating.. i just know that i have to do better. its okay.. i know that i've been doing well this semester.. and all of a sudden i just lost my drive to study hard. blahh.. but after the realization check with this test.. i know i have to work harder.. its okay now. i just spent forever trying to study.. it is actually working. hah i have a good group now. now i need to get two more chapters down alone.. by the end of tonight.. and tomorrow night.. and then finish the fourth chapter on sunday. take my test on monday.. and hope for the best :]

we'll see how things go. im hoping for the best. can't wait until NEXT weekend. i hope everything goes as planned.. hope things go as i want them to. yeaaaaaa. :]

could you imagine..

how would it be if i could write a blog once a day.. just to relieve stress.. to get stuff off my chest.. to diverge from studying.. gahh.. thats going to be impossible. 

anyway... i am feeling so lazy. i wish i could go back to the way things were like.. two weeks ago. i wish i could be more productive and more driven to study again.. i dont know why.. but im starting to think it has to do with the fact that i missed lecture for microbiology last thursday. blahhhhhh.  oh well.. things are going to be alright. ill pull through.. i'll get back on that study train. mmkay.. time to sleep.. then wake up again at like 3:30am and study again.  :]

sessions to lessons

so i have a small group that gets together every so often to just talk.. we call them life sessions.. its basically a small group of friends that feel the need to vent. just discuss things that are occurring in life.. or want advice on a certain topic.. or just feel the need to get stuff off of their chest. the others sit and listen and then share their point of view on the situation at hand.. or just speak about how they reiterate it.. or just say what they want to say. its been very helpful. we all get a chance to speak.. we all get a chance to hear other people's point of view and it opens our eyes to see the other side of the situation.. it allows us to see the big picture instead of just being all about us. 

it usually gets pretty deep in conversation. it never gets out of hand to the point where people yell or get frustrated. luckily it is just a small group whom are willing to hear what others have to say.. regardless if it is something we want to hear.. or not. there are times where we may not want to hear something.. but its what we HAVE to hear. and we always take it in pride. its never been too much of a touchy subject.. or gotten super emotional.. but today.. i shall admit.. i did cry. it wasn't so much of sad tears tho. they were all happy tears. the tears that ran down my face were due to admiration for someone's ambition. there was a new person in the group today that shared a load of information.. a lot of feelings that would bring a normal person down.. but this person took so much pain.. and a short amount of time and realized that they needed to FEEL the pain instead of subsiding it with other actions. i've never realized how strong this person was. so young.. and yet so mature. i know their mindset is amazing. i truly do admire them. 

thank you for opening my eyes and letting me know that there are people so close to me that are so strong. tonight's session showed me that you can talk to someone everyday of life.. hang out.. chill.. see them.. anything.. on a regular daily basis.. and yet never REALLY know that person.. but it takes time for you to sit down.. and have a real conversation in order for you to understand where they are actually coming from. i do appreciate the people i hold close to my heart. there are many acquaintances i have in this world.. fewer friends.. and that makes them better in my life. 

to my group of "life sessioners" thank you.. for opening my eyes and giving me a window to yell out of and not a door way to be judged through. i truly do admire each one of you.

3 years!

COME TO CLASS THIS SATURDAY!!
& spread the word!! :]

almost crashed.

today was CHILL! finally a day with out mad errands.. or study sessions.. or much of anything. so i stayed home until i had to go to *GROOVE. mmmhhmmm i miss my lazy days. haha well class went well. i missed seeing them rascals. afterwards i went home.. saw my dad and then headed back out of the house. the boys wanted to bingo! haha im such an old lady. oh well :]

picked up the boys.. drove to red rock and on the way.. we almost got into an accident! some dumb fucker decided to run the light! so.. i was on rampart.. about to turn onto the west summerlin pkwy ramp and im at a yield for a turn.. im half way through the intersection waiting.. and then the light turns yellow. so i see on coming cars start to stop since their light was yellow too.. then it turns red.. but since i am in the middle of the intersection yielding.. i HAD to go. i start to turn.. and the on coming cars that were stopping.. one dumb ass decides to start to brake.. then all of a sudden gun it! wtf.. dumb ass you have a red light.. and then you see me going.. well the car is still coming and im already turning.. so i had two choices.. slam on my brakes and let the dumb ass hit my car at a "T" angle or gun my gas and possibly make it through.. of course so many things ran through my head.. so much analyzation.. and i slammed my foot on the gas and made it through! :] thank god for me knowing how to analyze quickly and have been a reckless driver before so i could pull it off. 

anyways.. i won $100 at bingo.. won another $100 playin' penny slots.. so overall it was a good day. now its time to lay down. :] night

CREATURE!

oh honeycomb..

for the past year and a half you have been a great part of my life. you've never put anything but a smile on my face. laugh sessions.. tickling.. random times you'd catch us doing things.. the faces you make.. the everything. the house will not be the same with out you. we do not like you for leaving us.. but we do understand that you must do what you have to do. just know it will be so different when i go home and not see you there.. i will no longer have anyone to try and fight from the tickles.. or to joke with.. or to make fun of all the japanese things.. or to yell "ching ching cho dai" or to make someone get "stuck" when i play with your arm. i want to thank you for everything that you have done. all the big talks you listened to, all the small things you've done for me.. i just want to say that you are an amazing person. i will see you december 2010! ill be graduated.. and there with the roomies.. you better take us out! :] love you

FINALLY!!

so.. after an exhausting weekend.. of family filled events, and crunching in crucial study time and trying not to stress out too hard.... this weekend is OVER! goodness! my micro and anatomy test were both completed with "A" grades! "] thank you very much. my family is doing well. the events were fun. many laughs. great times. i still have some family in town so there is still always a lot to do.. but i have a paper due on thursday. thankfully my teacher is kind enough to give us time to work on it that day in class. he's just one of the best teachers i could ask for right now :]

i am so tired.. and yet so awake! what the heck. such frustration.. but nothing big to bug over. i have a ACSA meeting tomorrow at school.. or i guess you could say its today. only reason i really do not want to go is because not only is it at 11 in the morning and i would rather sleep in until about 12  noon LOL.. but i have to wear my scrubs just to go to school and attend this meeting for about 30 minutes to an hour! boo. oh well though. i gotta do what i gotta do right? maybe i wont go and i'll just make sure that someone else attends to inform us what is going on. ha. 

alright goodnight blog world. until next time..

two down and so much more to go.

so.. yesterday i took my micro test.. dun dun dun.... but i lucked out and got an A :] i also had that surprise dinner with the family.. so thats two things off my list from my busy weekend that i can officially cross off my list.. im almost done getting ready and then i have to head to the doctor's office to get a check up.. then finally off to borders to go study again! :] how sad..

after school yesterday i went straight home.. changed outta my scrubs (yepp my blueberry clothes) and then went straight to the book store to start studying again. wow.. my life is so cool.. NOT! all good.. i know it shall all pay off. 

mmmmkay.. enough of blogspot taking over my time. love you! bye!!

PS!! oh yeaa.. found out last night that there is no *GROOVE this saturday.. thank goodness! not that i dont love going there and seeing everyone.. its just that... its one less thing i have to try and fit in my time! :] mmmkay bye!