im keeping you

so.. its been about a month since i've been on this thangggg.

and let me tell you.. its been one crazy ass month! school is owning me forreal. like i've never worked so hard in my life. but its totally going to be worth it in about a year and two months. time with the fellow blueberries has been very enjoyable. so many damn drink ups.. and outings and luncheons.. haha but all very memorable and worthy of my time. on the real i find school kinda interesting and fun.. well mainly the clinical and lab hours.. haha i went to school on thursday for some extra lab time. tested off on my competency for the week.. and passed off on my med pass so luckily i dont have to go to class early tomorrow morning! yeeee! haha and i dont have to stay late for competency testing.. mmmhmm! yessir! but i did tell alex i'd stay and help him out.. so oh well.

hm.. booger should be in town in about two weeks. what for? idk.. he just misses it here i assume. hah. but that means we could go swimming at karens. Lol. we're just going to keep him here.. lol. errright. well time to shower and get ready for my school day.. of ONE HOUR tomorrow. lol.

cousin.

you.

we've been through a lot.. and yet lately we've hardly been able to spend anytime with one another.. let alone have a real conversation over the phone! i know you're preoccupied with situations in life and im sure you'll solve your problems as you always find some sort of way to bypass a hard circumstance. i appreciate your presence this past weekend. you are part of the family. mom and dad adore you. the rest of the family (including stephanie) love you. regardless of how much time we spend apart, when we reunite its as if the last time i saw you was yesterday.. except for the MANY story exchanges we make. i love the fact that you appreciate my happiness.. the joy you see in me on another level. i just wanted you to know you're awesome. :)

and to booger.. even tho i know you're never going to read this..

"why are you so good to me" haha as questions like that are asked.. smiles are placed. thank you!

black bed sheets.

its damn 6 in the morning..

i have a wedding to go to today! eeep! brother is finally getting married. wow.. my brother. my only sibling.. idk.. its kinda weird. something im going to get use to quickly.. my brother and his wife. my sister-in-law. creepy. haha but im happy for him. its a joyous day.

why am i awake?! man.. i was so exhausted.. its been one of those days.. really it HAS! but i pushed through lab clinicals at school with only 2ish hours of broken sleep.. then went to the rehearsal wedding and dinner. drove downtown.. visited boobs and booger. drove back to the hotel.. relaxed with the guys.. talked about things with my brother.. looked back on our past. getting ready for the future. then went home. knocked around 3 ish.. and got a call at 4.30ish and woke up.. been awake since.

hmmm.. idk.. three weeks in a row. you're funny. (just a random sideline thought that no one will understand but myself.. sorry)

okay.. the proceeding content may not make sense so you as a reader may as well stop reading now.. however.. i'm going to type it for myself.. i mean i made this as a place for me to jot down my info in my head.. my feelings.. my confusion.. so i should just put something that maybe no one will understand.. maybe no one will get. it may or may not make any sense at all and thats fine. hmmm.. okay here i go.

betrayed. lied. how is it that i never ask anything from you. i only ask for truth.. i do not expect much or anything at all...yet the truth is something.. probably one of the only things i care about when it comes to us. ratio was off. beds weren't used. you said that it wouldnt happend.. yet when i arrived its what i saw with my own eyes. did i say anything? no. was it the right place to? maybe. would it have been worth it to make you upset as well? im not sure. i still haven't told you why it was i seemed upset about it. so after time passed you text me saying you wanted to see me before you left.. i thought it was nice. you end up near my house.. then rush off as im on the way.. due to trying to meet up with the others whom aren't so fond of me because my timing in speaking to you was not as they would have liked. anyway.. when i got home you asked if i was alright.. my answer was yes.. but its always that.. you knew i really wasn't. i asked if i'd see you and you were out. not at the place you said you were headed to.. change of plans.. i decide it wasn't worth it so i slept. waking to your phone call.. you told me you were outside my house.. so i came down. not noticing you had sent me three previous messages asking if i wanted you to come over.. and yet with no response you still came to show face and try your attempt at calling me. as soon as i walked outside.. greetings for the friend made me laugh.. greetings from you made me smile.. a request he made.. made me laugh and upset. not at all your fault.. instead you laughed at me. spent some time outside.. small conversation was exchanged. you gave me the shirt. thank you. it ended with hugs.. and my forehead kiss. :] the frustration with you can not last. thank you friend. you're simply adorable.. just so great. i sent you a text shortly after you left.. then received a reply with a slight delay. i just told you that i appreciated your trip to my place for the 15 minute conversation.. your patience was greatly appreciated as well. and i shared my gratitude for the shirt i acquired. your reply was.. "so crazy i pulled out my phone to say i'm glad i got to see you and i read that text. you're the best babe. goodnight. muuuahhh" you're silly. but on the real. thank you.

fackk im going back to sleep.. pillow and shirt. i opposite of hate you.

sorrow. friends. life.

wow.. so it seems like i have a close girl of mine is some deep anguish. i dont like that she's in a hurt state.. of course i would love to baby her and be here for her to vent to.. which trust me i did. BUT i know that there is no point to baby her.. to cater to her every waking moment.. to try and distract her. by her telling me the situation and her reaction to is proved to me that she really is growing up. she's grown and becoming stronger. this is something that she has to deal with on her own. as much as she has friends here by her side, none of us will FULLY understand her situation because we are not her. no matter how close of a situation any of us have been through, no matter how similar they are, it STILL is not the exact situation. every relationship, no matter if you're OFFICIAL or NOT, is different. there are different things that go on between two people that can not be fully comprehended by an outsider. just know.. i'm here for you but i know you do not need me or anyone else. you are here making some great decisions in your life. yes you have been sluffin' on a few past goals.. and i know i give you ishh all the time about it, but to have seen how passionate you were once about it, makes me believe that all you need is that little push. just a small nudge. so that you know someone is behind you and believes in your action. that's all i needed to help get my butt in gear and here i am now.. almost half way done! how crazy is that?! well.. just know im here.. to listen to your stories.. to agree and disagree with you.. to read your bLogs.. to share my opinion. but i know you are one bad ass female that is more than capable at handling your own feelings so there is no need for me to fish such information out of you, or to try and console you. know i understand. know im interested in your well being. know that I LOVE YOU and thats a real one.

on another note..

today has been day two of the third semester. i have to say im so overwhelmed. yesterday we had to bring all 14 books to class.. received so much information.. learned when we had an additive amount of classes.. figured out our schedules.. compiled our mountains of hw and reading assignments. goodness.. too much. but its ok. im going to keep my head on straight and have come to the decision that i really am no longer going out on weekdays. i need to stay focused and keep studying. i need to catch up on sleep but with the amount of work i've been doing, thats pretty difficult. luckily i still have someone along my side that will allow me to vent and complain about the school load.. who then sympathizes with me and says i can do it. i have someone that will know im having a bad day and will text me asking if they can call me. and when they do, they say.. "you're not having a great day are you?" when i reply no, they say.. "i know, thats why i wanted to call and tell you this.." then they continue into a singing a song.. even though they do not enjoy singing.. or believe that they are the best at it.. simply because they knew it would put a smile upon my face, they do it anyway. i have someone that i do not necessarily talk to everyday.. nor that often.. but will randomly say hello, check up on how i have been doing, text me to simply say goodnight.. knowing that it makes me feel good. i have a house full of people around my age that give me a load of respect for going out and doing whatever it is i do. because they know that even though i may be super busy, or occupied.. it means nothing with the fact that we are all close and will stay that way. they give me so much support. i have a brother that understands how much stress i receive from school and family situations that he sets me an appointment for a massage.. fully paid for.. including gratuity. only because he felt as if it would help me relax. its people like that.. they help me see that my life is simply perfect. has a few quirks, of coarse.. but even those help make it perfect.

i must admit. i see myself being super blessed. i have people that care about me close.. and far.. yet never do they fail to cease to amaze me with the smallest possible things. not judging one for the way they choose to live their life. if you want to do something go out and do it. "if you think you can.. or if you think you can't.. you're right." you really are. i do not judge those that i carry close to my heart. i simply look our for what i believe is best for them. and if they choose another path, so be it. as long as you are happy then i too shall feel the joy for you.

books on break

wow.. it has been just about forever since i was on here.. like.. 21 days yo!

hmm.. so last day of second semester at apollo was the 21st! yes! jackie passed her anatomy & physiology 1 and 2 classes and her microbiology class! A&B's man.. so happy thats over. i can't really remember that far back on whats happened.. hah.. im assuming not much. but i will recap on the past week and upcoming events :]

7/22- i had to get a physical for school.. they wanted me to pee in a cup.. but i couldnt.. haha. i just wasn't in the need to urinate. oh well! then.. i headed to the health clinic.. i recieved the remaining shots that i needed so that i could participate in clinicals for next semester. after all that running around i headed to HOM so i could meet up with the roomies and bf. bf and i had a nice dinner at maggiano's. mmm.. yummy. funny times too. always great conversations with him.

7/23- i didn't really do anything significant. chilled with family.. but thats usually good times. oh and a lot of house cleaning.

7/24&7/25- did some baby sitting for my auntie.. then headed back to the clinic to get my shots read and last immunizations injected. then had to run some last minute errands for my california weekend. after i've been running around in the hot ass summer vegas sun.. i came home to pack.. haha yes ALWAYS last minute packing. then jing and matt came over and saved me. haha i was car less :/ so we picked up vincent and then had a cute dinner together. haha then off to HOM. we chilled there for a while.. watched a few movies and then lauren and tyn came over. and we started playing cards and drink. waiting for karen and stephanie to get there was killin me!! gj & i started to knock out at like 5:30 in the morning and then out of nowhere these two girls decide to come barging in the door at 6AM! gahhh no sleep all good tho. so we had to pack GJ's stuff because he was trynna be a lil girl and tell us that he didnt want to go anymore.. haha then he caved in.. we headed to CALI! ughhhhh. so much fun. the car ride makes me laugh. i wish i had my cord for my camera so that i could upload the pictures and videos! oh well tho.. hmm... we finally get to LA and these girls decide to go to get their done. hahah super fe fe. so then after that we head to glendale and go to Americana. we walked around and chilled.. then went to have lunch at some pizzeria place. super cutes. then we headed to karen's god sister's house.. cute babies dressed up in chinese things for the kung fu panda theme.. then a friend came and picked me up so i could chill. we took his friends to the valley.. and let me tell you.. it was THE most interesting car ride of my life.. non stop laughs and smiles. hahah i got taxed :/ they sang to me.. and then made song remixes about me getting taxed. it was fun. then we went to cold stone.. then west covina! mmhmm.. had to visit papi and bita.. little did i know that the WHOLE family was over there with a family dinner so that i could see them all. i had to pick up a car from them. it was nice to see their faces. then derrick and i headed back to his place. grabbed some panda and chilled. man.. i gotta say.. when you're in cali.. it seems like it should be so much later than it really is! haha we started to drink.. and idk but i thought it was like.. 4 in the morning and it turns out to be only 12:30! wtf is that shit?! hahah fun stuff tho.

7/26- i woke up at 6! wtf. crazy i know.. so i knocked back out for a bit. we just chilled at derrick's place.. watched michael jackson concert and man... does this boy really know it forwards and backwards! it was comedy.. wish i had a video of it.. but he stole my camera so that i wouldn't record him. haha then i finally decided to get ready. after that we went to get jamba juice! mmm.. original white gummy please! it was bomb. afterwards.. we went to the mall.. chilled for a bit. went to apple. then headed to his friends' house. sorry i forgot their names. haha mm.. then went to the staples center and tried to meet up with bjay.. but that was a failure. then we went to his house. started to order pizza.. and i knocked out! woke up when the food was there.. and we watched wanted. good movie :) chilled the rest of the night.

7/27- woke up at 6 again! wtf is wrong with me! haha but then of course i knocked back out til like.. 10. then just chilled for a bit.. and left his house at like 12:30. had to drive back to vegas. wow.. first time driving alone. it was cool tho. nice and quiet. and it seemed short as hell. i had a few different folks call me up to keep me company. i love how all my friends were so concerned with my well being! :) when i finally hit vegas. i stopped by HOM first. chilled with GJ and then took a nap. headed to my aunts house to drop off the car and pick up my tC.. then chopped it up for a bit. headed home to shower and get ready. went to the brothers house to have a REAL dinner :) then we helped with some of the wedding things. wow.. not fun for me! but hey i do my best. then i was super tired with a fatty head ache. so home i went to knock out.

7/28- i picked up my books from school. yes.. im suppose to be on a break from school.. but i did go there and pick them up. gahh and it wasn't just like a few books.. no. i picked up 13 books! gah! wtf. and i have to bring them ALL to school on monday! PLUS on top of that i found out that i ALREADY have homework assignments. super whackkk. after picking up my books.. matt and i went to beltz.. yes you can tell we're forreal vegas folks because we call it BELTZ not whatever dumb name they gave it now. hm.. picked up some shoes.. then had lunch at BWW. oh yeaaa! we had jamba too! :) after that we headed to target.. grabbed some pointless junkk and attempted to wash my car. then i headed home to start on my hw. :/ after that.. i went to jing's house.. played poker and lost :/ then jarel hit me up and we went to a bar. hahah just chilled and caught up. went to roberto's and talked some more. then i headed home. interesting conversations that night.

7/29- went to town square and met up with the brother. picked up dj! yessssssss. im dog sitting :) then went home and dropped him off. went to target to pick up some stuff and then headed home. i haven't been doing much tho.. right now just blogging and talking on the phone with derrick.. he's watching something about jenna jameson. idk.. haha

well yeaa.. now you're caught up.. this weekend i have hella people coming into town.. hella cali heads coming out to chill. and then a bachelorette party.. hm.. NEXT saturday is brother's wedding! okayy... now its back to study time.. or just lay down.. til next time!

thanks and smiles.

past few days i've spent at centennial hills hospital.. brother got admitted for chest pain and i'll admit i was a bit worried. :/ thankfully my friends and family kept and stayed close.. thanks for the prayers.. the smiles.. worries.. hopes.. laughs.. jokes.. and just about everything. its nice to know that no matter how far people are.. they are still able to show their compassion. hmm.. i am truely blessed.

on another note.. i've been able to keep a nice smile on my face for a few days now.. you do keep it on there.. how is it that you can do it with such ease? hm.. idk but i like it. its funny.. everyone notices. good times. and thank you. "soon enough" :]

broke.

someone broke into kuya's house.. stole their wedding bands.. watches.. groomsmen and bridesmaid presents.. other jewlery.. lap top.. camera.. and a grip of other stuff.. gahh.. so not crackin.

no time.

too much going on.

so much to catch up with.

seems like there isn't enough time.

i haven't been able to bLog for a good while.

doesn't mean i haven't kept up with spitting words.

my book has been getting lot of use lately.

since this blogger is just for me..

i guess its okay that i haven't had a while to write.

i hope my schedule clears soon.

yey.. its the 2nd of july!

meaning.. only 20 more days!

this semester is almost over! ughh.

good to see old faces.

cali trip in the works.

love love love you!

mix nuts

not much to blog about.. 

but i did take a break from my studies.. FINALLY! haha mappy dan prado mappala was in town this week. his vegas was showing. haha him and 7 other males from mix elements were here. fun times.. they had bad news shoved in their direction.. sucky duck.. but at least i was able to meet up! :] well.. i went to palms on tuesday and saw them there.. i saw mappy krisuan and vin.. it was nice to see them again.. then i met greg, ryan, emil, amber and kenny. haha fun boys. we attempted their photo shoot.. but that was an epic failure. damn bickering between boys. haha.. thats what happens when you have so many directors put together in one group. then we left palms and headed to the strip. CP was the place to be. haha drinks at the bar.. fun.. then walked the strip a bit.. grabbed something to eat.. then went to  walk the strip some more.. got more drinks.. then headed to eye candy! :] that was fun. the boys are crazy. good times. i can't help but smile as i type this blog.. because honestly.. i haven't really gone out in a while.. and well.. it was just a GOOOOOOOD night. mmmhmmm.. that russian man greg.. haha "vodka" and calling emil "fussy!" haha and talkin' to that hooker femme.. haha just fun times. i hope to see them soon. :]

"MIX NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!" 

thanks boys :]

happy message

yesterday was a good day. long but good. best thing.. no details.. but when i got home as i started to lay in bed i received a pretty long text message. i just want to say that it was so nice. it made me smile. brought them good feelings. i just want to thank you. you mean so much to me. im so happy that i would not change anything at all. i love you! :]

feelings.. fading.. fahhhhhhh

the sounds flow from the speakers to my ears.

the beats move your feet and body in a way that amazes many.

my eyes stare off.. watching you express a feeling from within.

the feeling i get is one that is indescribable. 

continuously replaying it in my head,

a smile appears on my face.

how is it that you can hit me up.. and with the smallest response i get happy/upset/giggly/frustrated. why do all those emotions flow through me in such a short amount of time. i do understand now. your mind is made up. your choices and decisions have been clearly set forth. when an opportunity opens, im sure you will take it.. only when necessary.. only when you feel like it. then as time passes you shall be back onto your old ways. that is fine. you know where i shall be. you know where i stand on every situation. you were a significant part once, that part has faded away. 

bad host.

hah.. suppose to do study group at my house.. what do i do? SLEEP in. damn long nights. all due to the painter. whatever tho. left the group hangin'.. they're literally down the street at starbucks studying. hah. mmkay. whatever. i should get started. bye!

i suck.

so.. after finding out that i only needed a "C" on my next test.. then finding out that my test has been split into two days.. idk.. i just started to sluff on studying for it.. this past weekend i decided that i wanted to take this for myself and just go out and have fun.. i had A LOT of people in town.. it was good to see most of them.. many many many fun times :] always puts a smile on my face. i needed this break.. on the real.. and well.. now i have to study haha im really not stressin'.. its whatever :] i just need to do good on my micro test. hah mmkay..

oh and that drama bull shit that some people that have drama btwn themselves are trynna bring into my life.. hah.. not crackin'.

if a female doesn't trust her man.. has to go all sneaky and check up on his ass.. look through all his stuff.. know all his passwords.. check his phone.. all that dumb shii.. why the hell are you with him?! please i never understood all that. 

hard work pays off

so we got an update on our grades in A&P 1 today.. and after all the hard work i've put into studying for my A&P tests.. if actually paid off.

i have one test left.. i gotta take it on tuesday.. and well.. if i get at least a 70% on it.. then i can get an overall grade of an "A" in my A&P class!! ughh son! :] good times.. now im sleepy.. goodnight :]

hmph..

i miss you. 

the talks. smiles. laughs. hugs. smokes. arguments. 

i wouldn't change anything that happened. 

i just wish those times would reoccur.

place those smiles amongst my face.

wrap your arms around me.

just lay, chill, talk.

come here please.

on another side..

i am believing something may be true that i surely wish is not the case. it was when i realized this that i started to miss you more and more. you were always a person that i would run to with such news, and then you would just comfort me in some way. then make me laugh with jokes. idk.. just randomness. lets go on walks late night.. find babies.. and random old guys named kelly. find a husband in chicago.. then a baby in the bay.. and settle in vegas. wow. imy.

productive insomnia :]

its like 5:20ish in the morning.. i have yet to sleep.. but at least im actually being somewhat productive.. im not super tired so what do i do? nope.. not turn on the tv.. not bug out on my computer.. instead i take out my anatomy book and start studying.. AGAIN.. its more like a continuation from today. i left my house around.. 12 noon today and ran some errands.. then went and studied.. then went to pick up matt from work.. and back to studying.. then to the studio for *GROOVE's three year anniversary class (which was awesome btw. thank you to everyone who came out and took class :]).. then i studied more at the studio.. after class was over.. i stayed there for MECCAMEE's  practice so that i could close the studio.. and while that was going on.. i studied even more.. then after that.. i went home.. and started studying more!! wtf. haha and guess what.. sunday afternoon.. so like in.. uh.. a few hours.. people are coming to my house to do a study group! wtf. yes. wow. my life must sound so whackk to everyone.. but there are a few out there that keep telling me to "do work" :] them.. i appreciate. they know that the amount of work im putting into my studies now will surely pay off. i cant wait. i can't believe its already been 6 months since i started school.. it seems so much less.. but that just means.. 1.5 years left.. and im done! yepp 18 months and counting. i cant wait. 

but before that.. this coming weekend!! i cant wait for that! ughhhh.. finally a well deserved break is coming! thats right.. im actually planning on going out.. having fun.. doing something! :] no books next weekend.. well.. maybe just on sunday :] haha but i really cant wait!! im super excited. yessssirrrr! :]

another day another chapter.

well.. i have to go get another chapter of A&P down.. but uh.. lets hope i can accomplish 2 chapters in a matter of.. today and tomorrow before the group comes over! :/ 

on another note.. come to *GROOVE today!! class starts at 6 and registration shall be at 5:30 pm.. hope to see you all there.. three classes are only $3! ughh thank goodness to the three year anniversary :]

mmkay.. byeee!

disappointment leads to harder work.

i did bad on my micro test yesterday. its something i dont really care to get into.. but it is just frustrating.. i just know that i have to do better. its okay.. i know that i've been doing well this semester.. and all of a sudden i just lost my drive to study hard. blahh.. but after the realization check with this test.. i know i have to work harder.. its okay now. i just spent forever trying to study.. it is actually working. hah i have a good group now. now i need to get two more chapters down alone.. by the end of tonight.. and tomorrow night.. and then finish the fourth chapter on sunday. take my test on monday.. and hope for the best :]

we'll see how things go. im hoping for the best. can't wait until NEXT weekend. i hope everything goes as planned.. hope things go as i want them to. yeaaaaaa. :]

could you imagine..

how would it be if i could write a blog once a day.. just to relieve stress.. to get stuff off my chest.. to diverge from studying.. gahh.. thats going to be impossible. 

anyway... i am feeling so lazy. i wish i could go back to the way things were like.. two weeks ago. i wish i could be more productive and more driven to study again.. i dont know why.. but im starting to think it has to do with the fact that i missed lecture for microbiology last thursday. blahhhhhh.  oh well.. things are going to be alright. ill pull through.. i'll get back on that study train. mmkay.. time to sleep.. then wake up again at like 3:30am and study again.  :]

sessions to lessons

so i have a small group that gets together every so often to just talk.. we call them life sessions.. its basically a small group of friends that feel the need to vent. just discuss things that are occurring in life.. or want advice on a certain topic.. or just feel the need to get stuff off of their chest. the others sit and listen and then share their point of view on the situation at hand.. or just speak about how they reiterate it.. or just say what they want to say. its been very helpful. we all get a chance to speak.. we all get a chance to hear other people's point of view and it opens our eyes to see the other side of the situation.. it allows us to see the big picture instead of just being all about us. 

it usually gets pretty deep in conversation. it never gets out of hand to the point where people yell or get frustrated. luckily it is just a small group whom are willing to hear what others have to say.. regardless if it is something we want to hear.. or not. there are times where we may not want to hear something.. but its what we HAVE to hear. and we always take it in pride. its never been too much of a touchy subject.. or gotten super emotional.. but today.. i shall admit.. i did cry. it wasn't so much of sad tears tho. they were all happy tears. the tears that ran down my face were due to admiration for someone's ambition. there was a new person in the group today that shared a load of information.. a lot of feelings that would bring a normal person down.. but this person took so much pain.. and a short amount of time and realized that they needed to FEEL the pain instead of subsiding it with other actions. i've never realized how strong this person was. so young.. and yet so mature. i know their mindset is amazing. i truly do admire them. 

thank you for opening my eyes and letting me know that there are people so close to me that are so strong. tonight's session showed me that you can talk to someone everyday of life.. hang out.. chill.. see them.. anything.. on a regular daily basis.. and yet never REALLY know that person.. but it takes time for you to sit down.. and have a real conversation in order for you to understand where they are actually coming from. i do appreciate the people i hold close to my heart. there are many acquaintances i have in this world.. fewer friends.. and that makes them better in my life. 

to my group of "life sessioners" thank you.. for opening my eyes and giving me a window to yell out of and not a door way to be judged through. i truly do admire each one of you.

3 years!

COME TO CLASS THIS SATURDAY!!
& spread the word!! :]

almost crashed.

today was CHILL! finally a day with out mad errands.. or study sessions.. or much of anything. so i stayed home until i had to go to *GROOVE. mmmhhmmm i miss my lazy days. haha well class went well. i missed seeing them rascals. afterwards i went home.. saw my dad and then headed back out of the house. the boys wanted to bingo! haha im such an old lady. oh well :]

picked up the boys.. drove to red rock and on the way.. we almost got into an accident! some dumb fucker decided to run the light! so.. i was on rampart.. about to turn onto the west summerlin pkwy ramp and im at a yield for a turn.. im half way through the intersection waiting.. and then the light turns yellow. so i see on coming cars start to stop since their light was yellow too.. then it turns red.. but since i am in the middle of the intersection yielding.. i HAD to go. i start to turn.. and the on coming cars that were stopping.. one dumb ass decides to start to brake.. then all of a sudden gun it! wtf.. dumb ass you have a red light.. and then you see me going.. well the car is still coming and im already turning.. so i had two choices.. slam on my brakes and let the dumb ass hit my car at a "T" angle or gun my gas and possibly make it through.. of course so many things ran through my head.. so much analyzation.. and i slammed my foot on the gas and made it through! :] thank god for me knowing how to analyze quickly and have been a reckless driver before so i could pull it off. 

anyways.. i won $100 at bingo.. won another $100 playin' penny slots.. so overall it was a good day. now its time to lay down. :] night

CREATURE!

oh honeycomb..

for the past year and a half you have been a great part of my life. you've never put anything but a smile on my face. laugh sessions.. tickling.. random times you'd catch us doing things.. the faces you make.. the everything. the house will not be the same with out you. we do not like you for leaving us.. but we do understand that you must do what you have to do. just know it will be so different when i go home and not see you there.. i will no longer have anyone to try and fight from the tickles.. or to joke with.. or to make fun of all the japanese things.. or to yell "ching ching cho dai" or to make someone get "stuck" when i play with your arm. i want to thank you for everything that you have done. all the big talks you listened to, all the small things you've done for me.. i just want to say that you are an amazing person. i will see you december 2010! ill be graduated.. and there with the roomies.. you better take us out! :] love you

FINALLY!!

so.. after an exhausting weekend.. of family filled events, and crunching in crucial study time and trying not to stress out too hard.... this weekend is OVER! goodness! my micro and anatomy test were both completed with "A" grades! "] thank you very much. my family is doing well. the events were fun. many laughs. great times. i still have some family in town so there is still always a lot to do.. but i have a paper due on thursday. thankfully my teacher is kind enough to give us time to work on it that day in class. he's just one of the best teachers i could ask for right now :]

i am so tired.. and yet so awake! what the heck. such frustration.. but nothing big to bug over. i have a ACSA meeting tomorrow at school.. or i guess you could say its today. only reason i really do not want to go is because not only is it at 11 in the morning and i would rather sleep in until about 12  noon LOL.. but i have to wear my scrubs just to go to school and attend this meeting for about 30 minutes to an hour! boo. oh well though. i gotta do what i gotta do right? maybe i wont go and i'll just make sure that someone else attends to inform us what is going on. ha. 

alright goodnight blog world. until next time..

two down and so much more to go.

so.. yesterday i took my micro test.. dun dun dun.... but i lucked out and got an A :] i also had that surprise dinner with the family.. so thats two things off my list from my busy weekend that i can officially cross off my list.. im almost done getting ready and then i have to head to the doctor's office to get a check up.. then finally off to borders to go study again! :] how sad..

after school yesterday i went straight home.. changed outta my scrubs (yepp my blueberry clothes) and then went straight to the book store to start studying again. wow.. my life is so cool.. NOT! all good.. i know it shall all pay off. 

mmmmkay.. enough of blogspot taking over my time. love you! bye!!

PS!! oh yeaa.. found out last night that there is no *GROOVE this saturday.. thank goodness! not that i dont love going there and seeing everyone.. its just that... its one less thing i have to try and fit in my time! :] mmmkay bye!

crazy time.

so.. for the past 5 months i've been attending apollo college. its a fast pace private nursing college. first semester was chill. i only had one class so it was easy to float through. this semester i have anatomy and physiology 1 & 2 and microbiology! gahh.. how crazy!! three pretty difficult science classes in a four month time period. scary. but thankfully i have a very good teacher. Dr. C. is really chill.. always takes time out to help us if we need it.. lookin' out for our best interest. now.. i have a "QUIZ" every week. once every other monday for a&p and once every other thursday for micro (they alternate weeks which makes it once a week). its cool tho.. i dont think i've every actually tried so hard in school until now.. and the part that makes me happy is that i'm actually doing pretty well. i have a B+ average in both classes.. its not the best.. but it's pretty good. 

this weekend is going to be a crazy one. tomorrow (wednesday) i have to run a few errands, meet up with some class mates for group study because i have a quiz on thursday. after studying i have to pick up my aunt & uncle from texas at the airport. thursday i have to wake up early and go to school at 6 am. class is at 8 and lasts until 4. after that i have a few more errands to run and then have to go to dinner with a whole lot of family. i have another set of aunt&uncle staying with me at my house, then after dinner i have to do a bit more studying for my a&p test on monday. then friday is a few more errands and then study time. saturday i have to go to my niece's and nephew's first communion and then have lunch, then study again! gahhh.. then i MIGHT have to go to *GROOVE.. but i dont even know if we're having class.. if not.. then its all good! :] sunday i have to go to meet up with study group again, and then monday i have class at 1 pm but i have to go early to finish studying with my class mates at like 8 am. grr.. i hope i do well.. these chapters are hard!!

on another note.. my lakers pulled through again. yesssss. i know they'll make it to the finals :] can't wait. hmmm.. alright its late/early. freaking 4:19 am! so much to do.. gotta sleep.. or try to. good night bloggers. 

four twenty

i celebrate this day..

NOT to chief with others..

or grub on sweets that contain SPECIAL items..

but to wish my brother..

a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

sleepless in vegas.

yea.. so.. last night i came home and blogged about my night out with the females.. well i finished that blog and then realized that i was not super tired and figured that i should continue studying for my test this morning (thursday morning) so thats what i did. i studied and read.. and skimmed.. and well remembered all i could.. then i turned and looked and shoot! the sun was up! haha so i got ready for school.. and off to school i went! no sleep or anything!

i got to school and wasn't feeling all that bad. thank goodness for my B12 vitamins! they give me energy. haha maybe sometimes too much? hmmm.. idk. well start of class i was scurrying to get some last minute hints in my head for the test.. and well.. Dr. C surprised us with a great game of jeopardy! :] yepp that was a review game. fun fun. my team won.. so that was 2 extra points added on to our tests! yey! the quiz wasn't all THAT hard.. the jeopardy sure did help. thank goodness for taking notes during games! my first microbiology quiz.. and i got an A! hard work does pay off after all. lucky for me tho.. it was only over two chapters. this monday i have a test on 4 chapters for A&P. hope i do just as good.. if not BETTER on that one :]

so after the quiz.. we continued on with more lecture notes.. then at 11am.. off to lunch! yey for group lunches.. they're fun. great laughs. then we went to Luxor to meet up with the rest of our class and our teacher to go to the BODIES exhibit. man.. that was so much fun. got to see so many cool things.. learned a lot of new facts.. it was just cool! haha plus... how can you complain with a class field trip? i think the last time we went on a field trip was like.. middle school? MAYBE freshman year?? idk.. but this was fun. hm.. then after we finished at the exhibit we were free to go home. yes!! out of school early! so i went to the boys house. chilled. had a crazy scare.. then after a bit i went to rescue AARON PAUL RAMIREZ from being stuck at the car rental place? haha then off to boobies we went. checked in.. had many many laughs there. dengg i missed him. always good laughs. then gj met us up at the hotel. the off to fashion show mall. we met up with the hifi ladies and ate dinner at CPK. afterwards.. i drove back to the airport to pick up shannon!!! :] fun fun. then to tropicana to get gj's car then off to studio 702! good job ladies. its crazy to see how some of them have grown so much! :] after the studio i just came home.. i mean.. we ended there at like what.. 11:40ish?? and i hadn't slept since uhh... tuesday night?! gahh. well im home now.. and kinda in and out of the sleepy phase. i know i SHOULD sleep.. but idk if i CAN. its weird but all right. its like 1:21AM and i haven't had a wink of sleep in 43 hours?? i just wanted to share that with you all. hah.

tomorrow is PULSE dance competition and then idk whats good. saturday is *GROOVE with AARON RAMIREZ from PHOENIX DANCE COMPANY.  come out and support. then sunday is my study session day! :] night loves!

oh.. and btw.. papa.. you're right. 

comp everything.

so for the past two weeks i've been doing nothing but studying!

its okay tho.. i know it will all pay off. it seems like every free moment i have.. i find myself with my nose stuck in my anatomy book or my microbiology book.. or writing notes. i dont think i've ever studied this much! haha. well emi text me today and asked if i'd like to join her for a dinner at Lavo. since i did some studying today i decided i deserved a nice break.. and on the plus side.. i haven't had a chance to see emi in a while so i figured it would be great. so right after my study session with marc i rushed home.. changed clothes.. then hurried off to venitian. had a COMP dinner at Lavo. mmmm.. so yummy! it was just the four females! :] karen, emi, donna & me. what a great mix. oh how i love the roomies. yepp we'll be that always and forever. after our delicious dinner we walked outside the restaurant and Waldo said that he has a comp table reserved for us upstairs in the club. YEY! great damn time. vanessa and her "sister-in-law" joined us and it was just great fun. 

well.. this night was a well deserved break.. and it felt nice to see their faces.. best part was that everything was FREE. ughhh now how could you complain?! haha but i just got home not too long ago.. i have class at 8am.. and i want to do some last minute review for a quiz tomorrow. mmmkay.. goodnight blog world. :]

drama.

within the family?! NOT crackin. 

its tampered with my heart these past few days..

but its okay i know we can make it through. 

my immediate family is STRONG.

and will help the extended family get through it.

your silence..

.. is SCREAMING loud.

my dear friend.. i just wanted to let it be known that i am here to listen to you. i understand you are going through a difficult situation. you try so hard to put on a front as if you are living life without any problems. i am aware that you try and act like nothing is wrong so that we do not have a depressed feeling as we are all gathered together. but the fact that you sit there in silence.. we know the REAL you.. we know how you act.. we know something is wrong. just know we care and that when you are ready to vent we are all going to be here waiting.. with ears ready to listen.. and shoulders ready to be cried on. we love you. no matter the situation we think nothing negative about you and will always be on your side. 

you know who you are.. so no name is necessary to be written out. :]

thank you!

so celebrating the deuce deuce was good times. 

first it was friday night and it started with the house warming and that led into my surprise birthday. haha it was good. i love them folks! thanks for those who came. hmmmm.. then later that night we ran into a mishap.. but well we'll work that out.

saturday morning i woke up to mom and dad singing happy birthday and we had a nice breakfast :] i spent the afternoon with mom and then headed to church. after church i headed down to the boys house. finished getting ready and when we were finished we headed to excalibur. met everyone at dicks then enjoyed dinner. it wasnt that bad of an experience.. great company.. funny ass things going on.. i was betrayed by the WHOLE table and had a lap dance by some man with a tattoo that says "TACO" on his belly. hahah after dinner we headed to jet and ran into a snag.. all good tho.. revolution was the place that was next on our list and THANK GOODNESS that we went there!! it was a good time.. great music.. great people.. idk.. haah i was DRUNK! drink after drink.. somehow they appeared and then when the drink was gone.. a NEW drink appeared in its place. hahah. fun fun. so many memories.. or well.. lack of them.. but thank goodness for pictures. hah 

well i start a new semester tomorrow... or in a few hours.. so i guess its time to sleep. goodnight world.

OH! and thank you all for the phone calls.. comments.. texts.. and company on my birthday! 

insomnia.

it gets the best of me.

7 day countdown

thats just what it is. 

the past week has been pretty good. finish my first trimester at AC. and did well. made many acquaintances which will make great co-workers down the road. saw jarren and george. went to my second home about three times this past week :] its always good to go there. started to plan and getting psyched up for next trimester. geez. ill be super busy and thats fine with me. ill make it thru with the great crew that we have formed. 

taking lifes challenges as they come to you is something that we must conquer. 

passion party

so its been FOREVER since ive been on this ishh.

haha i think its always like that every time i start to post a blog.. i always lagg on this ishh.. not like many read up on my life anyways.. haha its more for my liking i assume.

anyways.. life hasn't really brought MUCH change for me.. i spend a lot more time at home.. it just seems pleasant to be here i guess.. hm.. but today i had a passion party to go to. haha that was fun! it was good to see all the females. haha good times.. damn emma! :] haha it was just a fun thing. i collected the most penis' hahaah! and i didnt even collect them from playing games or catching people on the names they used. ughhh son! im pro. haha "jackie won she's a slut" thanks nicole! haha jerk. hm.. then i had to speed to groove. i got there just in time to finish warm ups. muhaha. thennnnn.. after groove.. which was a good turn out.. i went to s.coast to have dinner with the cousins and themm... then we just chilled. i guess the family is sometimes just the better route. but for some reason i still get ishh. oh well tho. ONE day it shall change. okayy well i just got home.. ready to lay down and uhhh.. hahah :] good night blogger world :]

T.G.I.Friday!

REALLY THO!! 

gahh finally a day without the kids! i love them.. really i do.. and they're not really bad or misbehaving.. but its just so exhausting being with them all day. mad respect to all the full time parents yo! after i dropped the children at school.. i came back home to sleep! haha woke up got ready then just chilled in the quiet of the house. time flew by fast and i had to pick up the kids again. dropped them off at my cousin's house and ran some errands! thanks jenny for taking the kids for the night! :]

after i finished my personal tasks.. i was going to go to the park to visit friends.. and say happy birthday.. but it was cold and they were already leaving.. so back home i went to watch degrassi! :] haha then papa hit me up. it was nice to hear from him. just to have him check in and say hi.. really put a smile on my face. hm.. then off to hiza's house i went. 

there were some fun times there. ahaha her&kayla hella lurk on folks' myspaces.. but idgaf. hah hm.. we decided to go to FRIDAY'S at sun coast.. oh man.. thats the best idea ever. we had the best time. the three of us were hella loud.. drinking.. conversing with our server brian.. we got a free white chocolate cheesecake served to us by foster but from a cook named alex! haha thanks alex! he was too shy to serve me my onion rings.. then decided to just send us some cheesecake with ONE spoon! ;] hm.. made fun of a young lookin' server named colt. then apologized and had him chill with us. made conversation with tiffany.. to make sure she wasn't upset. andre came over to our table too. and then richie came to our table with his fake ass arm injury and made sure that we weren't being harrassed. and then julian (kitchen staff) came over to get a lighter? haha we made laughs about him after he left. met a few cool people.. best person has got to be RICHIE! hahah he took off a very good amount from our check. THANKS!! fun fun time. but now im home.. still peace because the kids are sleeping at jenny's but they'll be back in the morning. for now.. GOOD NIGHT!

love life. love the world. love my people.

back from the bay and playing mom

so i had a good trip to the bay with the party of five! :] love them. overall it was a great trip. saw my friends.. chilled.. met best friend's family.. did damage.. played tourist.. all the fun junkk. then stayed at sisters house in vegas.. then off to playing mom. 

the family on the south all know the situation.. i now have three kids.. one dog.. one super busy teenager.. and a house to take care of. i never knew just how motherly i could be but i see now.. im ready. its a super big change.. especially overnight. but hey.. im doing it! 

so many things going on i dont really have time to expand on anything. just wanted to let the world know im alive and doing shit. time to head to bed. its crazy. i never use to sleep early.. but now i do! have to take the kids to school tomorrow morning and then some other crazy errands to run before we do a family day. love love love. bye!

birthday.

today was CHILLL. haha well since its after midnight i guess you'd say yesterday?? idkk..

anyways.. tuesday night.. i drove down to karen's house.. swoop'd up BEST on the way :] and just chilled.. karen and i dipped out.. ran a few errands.. then just talked. its always good to vent ishh out. hm.. then went back to the house and more and more people came over. then the festivities began. midnight hit and out came the cake.. damn ant tho.. tried to hide.. made me laugh.. i accidentally blew out some candles.. ahah my bad! then yeaa.. drank drank drank.. games.. chill.. talk.. drink.. fun fun. its always a good time tho. then i went home. woke up today.. ran some errands. had to finish buying some junk for the bay! gahh i still have to finalize my packing.. i honestly dont know what to bring.. but oh well. um.. got ready and went to dinner for ant's birthday! suppose to be like.. only 15 or 20 of us.. ended up being around 30 or more?? effin friends! haha jokes. ant got spanked.. then had to go on stage and we sang to him.. then he played some random instrument?? haha it was super funny. i have it on video.. just too lazy to post it. but i will eventually. i dont even know how to say the name of the place we went to.. haufbraus house?? shii idk.. but its on paradise and harmon.. hahah it was fun.. i guess we're going back sometime soon.. BEST got super faded. good times. 

now im home.. didnt go out with them because i have so much to do.. i have to wake up for school in about 4 hours.. i still haven't done my paper! boo!! wtf.. i guess i should start. okayy. here i go! :]

tomorrow i go to school.. go home.. get my stuff and then pick up ant for the airport! :] SF here we come! i love my fams. 

untitled.

seems like forever since i last blogged. 

so life's been.. good. hah ive been thinking that for a while now. glad to think that my outlook has changed. life does send me ups and many downs.. but its on me to turn those downs into learning experiences and to not go back that way. ive learned to take the negatives in life and look at the good things that can come out of it. there is always a worst predicament that you could be in. when you reach a hard struggle in life.. just know that.. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. 

anyway.. chivalry is not dead. its still around and going good. today i had lunch with a good friend of mine. he picked the place.. ordered.. everything. hah it was a great time. but then again.. everytime im just hanging out with him.. its always a good time. he puts smiles on my face. we fly southwest son!! haha but really.. best friend is one of the bests. another note. im so excited! i miss my love in the bay. its been almost two years yo!! haha. ill see you in less than a week love!!

i dont know why.. i just feel like blurting junkk out to randoms..

jing // you make me laugh. that small exert that i showed you.. hah gahh damn. i dont care if you were half asleep at work or not.. shii i dont care if you were high, rollin or whatever! im glad you found a place where you can spit it out. its all right.. i know one day you'll grow those balls and be able to spit it to that person's face. and when you do.. ill be here for you. there's finally someone who is on the same boat as me when it comes to that person.. but here's some advice.. dont let that shit get to you. blow it off. there is no reason to stress out about bs from people. oh yeaa.. and that one thing you did.. "i tried to put it nicely.. but it just came out like that" hahah girl no need to lie to me.. i know what you meant and i know how you said it and personally i find it funny. but at least you expressed yourself. dont you feel better??

papa // i miss your face. you say you miss mine. you make me smile. i hope you can work things out so that you can hang out while we're all there. it would be fun to just be. and remember what i said.. they're looking for a place.. i think by april.. so if you're still interested.. hah let me know.

southwest // you jerk. lets go to LD's and see TOKYO haha. gahh thats so gross. i cant believe it.. yet at the same time i can. haha stroller valet? yessir! thanks for the good times. all the good deeds. hah. always setting yourself up for those comments yo. im just happy when i catch them! and you totally know when they're coming.

im tired! time to sleep. i haven't sleep since.. 11am.. wednesday! gahh. wtf! i need cranberry juice. i know there was something i was going to add but i effin' blanked. cant wait to get away. yepp 2.5 weeks away from home! i know it'll be the best. 

babysitting tomorrow. yess'm. :]

spontaneity

i lagg the most on this bLog.. idk just so many things have been going on in life.. and i dont  really have time to type about it. i hardly go on myspace.. i hardly bLog.. i mean.. i go on and read others bLogs a lot.. its just that once im finished im pretty much done with my computer haha. 

anyways..

yesterday was a good day :] woke up at 6am.. got ready for school then dipped! hah i went to school and then grabbed some lunch for me & ant then met up at the miranda house. chill session. i actually made a resume! hah too bad it wasn't for myself! all good tho. some of the other boys came over and chilled with us.. then we went to the park and played basket ball. haha good times. dengg gj.. always getting hurt, and the same arm too! wtfutch. hah and we saw this little girl swinging for HOURS! she was scary. anywho.. finally went back to hom and stephanie was home!! yey! she started to talk about going to the neyo concert. she really wanted to go.. so we did a little hustlin'.. and then ended up getting to go! neyo concert was good.. too bad no MUSIQ :[ but overall it was just a great day. hella people went to the concert. funny how we all ended up there. its always a lovely day when im with y'all thanks much! :]

swap you up with a biscuit.

thats what the bouncer at ROK said to me today. hah funny stuff. had me come to the front of the line.. sorry karen! :] then yea.. he just started to ramble on to the other bouncers about me. hah funny funny. saw erwin and johnny today! fun stuff! i miss them :]

jing came out with me. good dengg times. i miss that girl! :] she's a super trooper. came out with me on such late notice.. and still had a good time.. to top it off.. we both have class tomorrow at 8AM! booty!!! all good tho. we're g's! hah i love her forreal. she's always got my back.. told me some words tonight.. about someone asking something about me.. which was SUPER false. and she got super heated. haha wtf.. how she get more upset than i do?!

for the one who asked.. you need to check up on your stats before you go and ask such a question. and to one of my good friends?! pshh.. check it. when you figure it out.. i've only done that with one person out here! thanks. im not upset.. just a lil flabbergasted. idk its crazy how someone says that they're cool with you.. and that you're good friends but still has the audacity to ask a question of that sort. all good tho. im a happy person yo. i network. just not like that. if you really wanted to know.. just ask me. ill answer any question.. because im a person who has nothing to hide. no one to impress. and just myself to keep happy.

for the future.. to ANYONE. want to know something about me? just ask ME. thank you!

anyways.. i have class in less than 5.5 hrs. so i guess its time to go to bed. good night world :]

accident.

on the way home from HOM i saw a car accident. scared me but made me greatful. called the roomies to tell them i loved them. seriously.. lets all drive a little slower. whats the rush?? speeding will get you somewhere about 5-10 minutes faster.. wouldn't you rather just get there alive?!

$140

i woke up for school this morning feeling good. not super tired.. just chillin. made it to school early. chilled. talked. class today was not bad at all. we didnt do much. hah i enjoy those days. hm.. after school was suppose to meet up with lexi for lunch.. then she hit me up and took a rain check til next week. all good. i love that girl so ill wait. hah. some kids in my class asked me to join them for lunch so i did. hah we ended up at one of the most filipino places ever! haha jollibee son! :] haven't been there in a while.. so it was cool. but man.. all of us chillin' in our blue apollo scrubs?? what a sight. it was a good thing i went. i caught up on things that are going on at school since im only there once a week. its cool. :] got to know more folks. 

after wards we chilled and talked.. then i went to ceasar's.. then met up with ant gj rho corinne and mu at the house. then i locked my keys in my car! wtf?! gahh lets not get into details.. but anyway.. gj was kind enough to start calling lock smiths.. i love that guy! mother fucker finally showed up and it took him not even 5 minutes.. and pop! wtf?! stupid ass jerk charged me 140. efff that. ANYWAYS corinne and ant showed up.. bought me jamba juice! yummmay! :] then we chilled with everyone for a while.. watched rj & vince ray work on gj's car. then ant & i went to fry's. Justin hook'd it up on 8GB memory cards! :] thanks love! errrright well im sleepy. and am bout to go out. hah. so im done. 

sluffin

yes. its been just about a week since i last went to class.. that's not bad. trust me i put in too much money to be "ditching" so i'm not. i just only have class on thursday.. well thats until april comes around then i go back full time! i cant wait.. seriously this whole only going one day a week gives me way too much time to sit and think about too many things. i need to be doing something and i just can because.. well because i cant. so what am i sluffin' on?? im sluffin' on my papers that are due tomorrow. yep TWO papers. all good i know i can get it done when i actually sit and do them. im just easily distracted. trust me!! blahh okay.. well time seems to be going by so slow. i guess in my situation.. its a good thing?? ehh.. i dont really care.

im excited about my trip next month! im going with some of the best. ANTHONY especially he makes me excited to go. CORINNE makes me psyched to go do things. watch the show. chill! DONNA i know is just down for the ride. MUSASHI is making me excited because he hasn't really been there.. so its time to show him whats up. HUSBY! i get to see him again :] JEKA i get to stay with! :] more random'ness. CMART my anti-sun man. gahh. everything just makes me excited.

i have a viewing for Dr. Makabenta this weekend. :/

i want to try something. i want to come clean. no lies. theres no need to anymore. make myself happy thats all right? well i'll answer one question a day. HONESTLY no lies.. no holding back.. anything and everything. let's go. im ready.

time to go to brother's house.. more sluffin' over there.. then paper time.

bad world

i woke up by a phone call telling me that my friends mom had been shot and killed. how does an 80 year old patient go to the doctor's office and decide to shoot the doctor?!  then take the easy way out and kill himself? thats not right. you have to man up to your wrong doing. live the rest of your short miserable life and deal with the fact that you right out murdered a doctor that did nothing wrong to you. all she did was try to help you and others in the community. you have now left her two sons and daughter to grow alone. one who is here and miserable with a father who recently up and left to the philippines and one who is in the navy and another who is going to school in sf. away somewhere.. probably doesnt know yet. and i doubt that her husband who cowardly left the states.. knows either. what is wrong with people?! my 4 year old nephew sat next to me as i watched the news to confirm tita's death. and then he showed me that even young and innocent people notice things.. my nephew told me.. "we live in a bad world, dont we?" i think we live in a crazy world with some dumb people. 

to josh & franny & mike.. im sorry. your loss took a beat on my life i could only imagine how you feel. 

goodbye my love.

HOM is coming to an end. there is no more. its a sad thing but the memories will last forever. i love the people and they'll always be part of my life. but the good things dont last forever right??

HOM

so.. there's a picture of me ryan beemer anthony & mu. robbie and gj are sleeping in the back..  well today was super chill i did a buncha nothing. hah came to HOM to chill and see GJ! yey back from MEXICO! ughhhh. then he had a surprise of Robbie!! yey!! ROBBIE you're in vegas!! :] nothing really cool. booked robbie's ticket back home. thats sad days.. then i waited for anthony to come home. then he got here and we talked and chilled. 

dengg its SUPER cold out side. wtfutch. so as i sit here and type this bLog im starring at ryan :] poor guy.. im guessin' he's sick. sorry love. feel better soon! Anthony is sitting here reading horoscopes. (thanks ryan! haha) apparently when i turn 24.. something is going to happen.. hah idk what yet.. but we'll see. okayy.. idk musashi is sittin here on my phone killin my batter by playin idk what game. hah you gotta see anthony.. he's sittin next to me in his bath robe!! ughhh son! haha its so early to call it a night.. but i guess its gotta be done. so goodnight loves.

mean girls.

thats what i watched last night. as i stayed at my cousin's house and built her tv stand til 4 in the morning! hah oh well.. i gotta be a good cousin. she says im GREAT because not only did i stay.. build her tv stand ALONE.. with a hurt back.. but i also did it while miss shaggy (her fat kitty) ran around the condo.. all close to me and everything. yuckk.. im allergic to cats.. so as i drove home early morning.. i was wheezing.. and it was HARD to breathe :[ but i made it!

hah slept til idk what time.. got ready.. CLEANED my house.. moved thangs around.. ran some errands.. cooked.. chilled and then started to drink before everyone got here. hah thats just how i am.

brought in the new year with a lot of loved ones. glad they're here. 2009 i hope for the best!